day 1 and 2

yesterday was the worst day in my life. it was blowing 15-20 knots when we launched, forecast said it was gonna be the lightest day of the week. bullshit. by the time the first race started the wind was 17 knots constant with waves of 3-4m high, furthermore the windward leg was took 20+ minutes to sail. since men and women were separated again, the men fleet only had 27 boats. in the first race, i started poorly, tacked and hit a boat that was on starboard, i did my 720 making me half a leg behind the fleet, and he retired?!?... i then sailed the first upwind alrite but still rounded the top mark in 2nd last. it was then i realised my tiller extension was breaking off the tiller as a screw came loose. so i sailed the rest of the race with my hand on the tiller joint to prevent it from breaking. i finished the race 23rd, 4th last. the next race the wind picked up to 22 knots, i started poorly again to round the top mark in 18, i capsized, caught up and finished 15. so day one was a complete disaster, one that almost left me in tears. i was 19th overall after day one. dinner was the only consolation as my uncle brought me to celebrate his friend's (sujen) birthday at a spanish-australian bar, we had paella, the highlight of my day
today was slightly better, i woke up with a new mentality deciding that i should just do my best race by race instead of thinking about the results. so i left the house prepared, took a train to brighton and rigged. the wind at 12 was 4 knots, a brighter outlook than the day before, but as we all know australia is not known for its constant light wind, true enough by the time i launched at 1pm, the wind picked up to a still reasonable 10 knots, but by the time race one started it was 15 knots. sigh... in this race i started poorly at the comittee boat and rounded the top mark a mediocre 12th, i caught up 4 boats on the first downwind to 8th, before losing another few boats rounding the top mark 11th, then the last downwind i caught wave after wave to finish 7th, the finishing committee insisted i was 8th and that was how i was placed. the last race the wind was still 15 knots but the course was extended by another 200m, i started alrite in the middle before heading left, fortunately, the wind shifted left persistently resulting in rounding the top mark 4th, i then maintained on the downwind before picking up another place on the next upwind to finish 3rd. so at the end of day 2 i am 14th overall with 23-15-8-3 on my scoreboard. tomorrow's forecast is 20-25 knots, god please help me.